attack of the winkies

time for me to drop everything and fulfill my lifetime dream of taking care of other people's white, affluent, chinese-speaking toddlers. thanks for the heads up, new york metro!

these poor kids are in for a rough childhood. they'll have all the best toys, designer clothes, and ponies money can buy, but if they don't forget any chinese they've learned when they start attending kindergarten (taught in *gasp* english), i smell taunts of "weirdo" and "retard" emanating from their insensitive classmates. the bilingual advantages (in worldwide travel, corporate takeovers, and fake-designer-purse negotiation) are obvious, but what about her psyche? learning any language is a challenge and tackling two of the most difficult languages at age 3 is just unreasonable. and at what age will they tack on spanish?

then again, maybe these pecunious parents will splurge on international boarding school. and then they'll fit, um, right in. i bet that's how baby "so-adopted-from-a-bored-rich-family-guy" stewie came about.