coming to a boobtube near you in '08

i loved watching the devilish debauchery this show brought to primetime. counting down the days...

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Now Casting: Paradise Hotel is Back!

Paradise Hotel is back and HOTTER than ever before.

Returning as a Fox Reality Original, Paradise Hotel is NOW CASTING.

Casting Directors have launched a nationwide search to find a whole new batch of contestants to compete in a brand new season for the prize of a lifetime.

Guests will be whisked away to an exotic locale to live in an exclusive resort fit for celebrities and ultimately compete for the ultimate Prize.

Brimming with luxurious amenities, gourmet food and free-flowing spirits, Paradise Hotel offers the kind of setting that will enable the guests to indulge in their wildest fantasies, all the while doing whatever it takes to secure their place in the game.

Will you play or get played?

For more information, please visit: www.foxreality.com

Email realityshowcasting@gmail.com with the following information:

1. Your name and age
2. Contact information (phone number!)
3. A recent photo
4. Why do you think you should be the next guest at Paradise Hotel

never too old for disney...(?)

went to disneyland & california adventure this weekend, and although the pacific ocean cooled down anaheim far too quickly after sunset, fun was had and copious amounts of junky overpriced calories were consumed. these are the rides we managed to get on. before i forget it all.

• soarin' over california - hosted by patrick warburton (played david putty on seinfeld), it features some dangling, pine scented air conditioning, and a close encounter with an imax screen
• california screamin' - the most traditional roller coaster of the rides, and my favorite of the bunch. "the upside down part is mickey." (above image)
  
• maliboomer - 2nd favorite. imagine a young sailor-hat-wearing drooling tyke playing paddle ball. you are the ball.
• space mountain - an hour wait. in cold wet chino shorts. worth it. much better than the one at disney world, thanks to the superior wraparound line that looks down on the boarding area and its ginormous 3-story tall spaceship.
• splash mountain - identical to the one in orlando. except for the getting drenched part. that wasn't part of the plan.
• matterhorn - bumpy as all get out. do NOT double up. sit alone. ALONE. and bring a neck brace.
• phantom manor - identical to the one in orlando. shorter line though. it's surprisingly refreshing to encounter halloween horrors in the summer heat.
  
• twilight zone tower of terror - amazing. rides consumed indoors, in pitch black (for the most part), are the epitome of vomit-inducing bladder-pinching gut-lurching entertainment.
• pirates of the caribbean - watch out for the airzooka-style invisible cannon balls and musket blasts. a very realistic animatronic johnny depp camps out in a couple scenes too.
  
• peter pan's flight - crap. crap. umm....some more crap. and a long cramped zig-zaggy line to boot.
• buzz lightyear laser blast - live action sit-down shoot-em-up. the doom franchise needs a branded park of its own yes please.
• a bug's land - disney's take on chuckie cheese's "live" concerts. plus 3d glasses + polished non-plushy animatronics + stinky gas. avoid this "performance" if you can't appreciate a good ol' fashioned smelly wet mist.
• mission tortilla factory - not a ride, but impressive nonetheless. good for free tortilla-only meals, a must for the budget-conscious.
• it's a small world - the dolls get creepier every time i step into these "worlds". the animals are quality though - tigers and llamas and kiwis that wag their heads at you. visit on the hour to see the clock's innards open up and spit out dolls (and flying carpets) of every nationality. and please please please don't let your kids drink the water. or use it to style their hair. ick.
  

also, the brand spanking new finding nemo submarine voyage was open to "cast members" only, but overeager non-disney-affiliates can face off with the monstrous snaking 2 hr (minimum, i'm guessing) line on monday june 11th. mr toad's wild ride, the giant orange peel orange in CA adventure (i so badly wanted to feel like james within his giant peach), pineapple dole whip & eeyore "ears" are on my list for next time. when i've generated some stroller-lounging hell-spawn of my own.

14 (very loosely defined) "rides" sampled in 10 hours. it's always difficult for me to pronounce amusement park trips a success when i look at the numbers, but hey, we're talking about makin' memories here!

summer breeze

memorial day has passed. so kick off the summer with these super comfy creamy perforated leather tretorn high top sneakers - yours for a deliciously paltry $25! (orig. $88) sadly only sizes 8.5 (1 pair left), 9 (1 pair left), and 10 (6 pairs left). let the reign of white shoes begin.

...(anthropologie.com)...